Shine through

This week my husband spoke at his first leaders conference. Despite being nervous he did an excellent job. Later we talked about steps he could take to be more comfortable on stage when he expressed this very humble concern. He wants to be comfortable enough to effective but he doesn't want to be so comfortable that he presents himself more than he shares what God is using him to say. 

As I prayed and thought about this conversation I realized, not presenting yourself in any situation is very hard to do. Especially with parenting. Our children know more about us than anyone else, save our spouses. They know what makes us happy or sad. They know if we have a temper or if we use harsh language. Our kids see us at our most comfortable, in our most vulnerable state. They should see through us, the love of Christ.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. 

Our love for God should invade our lives so much that it seeps into our conversations with our children, that it's evident in our dealings with them and around them. They should know our love for God and more importantly Gods love for them. 

Father, 

We love you. Thank you for being the wonderful parent you are and for showing us how to be parents through your word. Shine through us and touch the hearts of our children, use us to show them your unfailing love. We love you, we thank you, and we can't do this without you. Amen.

Forgiveness and children

Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. 

I've never looked at forgiveness and thought of my children. However, today while correcting Summer, my two year old, God placed the above scripture on my heart. As wonderful as parenting is sometimes its easier to apply God's word to our lives outside of our home then it is to raising our children.

It's easy to have a rough night or long day then get an attitude especially when you find yourself saying the same thing over and over again. Or you may, like myself, wonder if your discipline would be more effective if you had an attitude or disaproving look to go with the correction but the bible tells us to train our children. We train them through our example and the way we forgive them and those around us will serve as a model for them to follow. 

I want God to forgive me quickly, I want Him to forget the offense and every time I fall I want His reaction to be as if I fell for the first time. This challenges our paitence, longsuffering and even kindness as parents. Afterall, forgiveness is the only thing in the bible where God action mirrors ours.

Watch What You Speak

Zechariah story is such a great encouragement, because it shows the power a man has over what he speaks in his home; it also shows how lightly we take that power. I've been guilty of looking at my circumstances, rather than looking to heaven, and speaking to my problems like they are bigger than God. Zechariah felt this too and in his lack of faith he spoke against his own child, John, and his greatness. Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 13:3 says, "Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin." 

Zechariah's inability to speak was a blessing; he could not speak against his sons destiny. Imagine he retained the ability to speak. I'm sure the story would have been quite different. He would have placed doubt in his wife's heart with his words. His words and our words as fathers and husbands are powerful because we operate as priest of our homes.

Unfortunately, our mouths aren't sealed. I don't see many mute men walking around, as I do damaged children and hurt wives. Our words have power, either we use that power and authority to build our families or to tear them down.

So, instead of speaking against your children by telling them how bad they are or how disappointed you are in them. Speak life into them by telling them who God has called them to be. Tell them who they are at their best. Speak against the behavior you don't want to see in your children by speaking life into who God has called them to be.

- Kristian James

A Little About Me

Before getting pregnant I had a plan. I knew exactly how things would go. My husband and I had just gotten married. We would wait three years, two if I could reach my goal sooner. During that time I would work my butt off and get to the point in my career where I could work from home. I would finish my MBA and be done with school all before my first trimester of pregnancy. We would have two incomes and be financially stable so we could raise our children without much worry. Sounds good right?

Well God revealed to me that my plan had nothing to do with Him. It did not require much faith, or any room to grow closer to Him. Sure I could have penciled that into my plan but God did not want to be penciled in to my life He wanted to consume my life. Proverbs 19:21(NIV) says, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose which prevails.”

My having a plan wasn’t the problem, the problem was I did not make sure my plan lined up with God’s purpose for my life. As the word of God says His purpose prevailed in my life. Six months into being married, I got pregnant and my whole world changed. I was working as a temp for an HVAC company, working on my MBA and learning the ropes on being a wife.

When I was 5 months along with my daughter, Summer, I was placed on bed rest and my husband became the sole provider for our family. It was unexpected, and it was a stretch of faith. Even then, God was using this precious baby girl to teach me to rest in Him. Being pregnant and on bed rest was one of the hardest things for me to do.

I felt fine, I looked fine but there was something going on inside of me that required me to be still. Have you ever felt God stilling you when all you want to do is run? I wanted to be out and about, I wanted to work, I had a plan, but God told me to rest and wait.

With my next pregnancy it wasn't as hard to trust God. My husband’s job moved us to a new state, my blood work during pregnancy showed early signs of cancer and I was far away from my friends. This time I knew to trust God and rest. I could see this child, my son, was teaching me early. God blessed me with good friends, after much prayer and months of testing it was found that I did not have cancer, and my son Kristian II was born perfectly healthy.

I see myself in my daughter all the time. Not so much in her features as in her actions. There were days where she would cry and want everything right at that moment. For example, during a growth spurt, Summer was so frustrated she was screaming at the top of her lungs, she just could not get satisfied. As I tried to nurse her she continued to scream, it's was only when I stopped and pulled her away to calm her down did she latch on and eat.

God revealed to me that I do the same thing. Sometimes I get so frustrated and I want something so badly from God. I feel so misunderstood like my need is not important to Him. Doesn’t He know that I need this now? What is taking so long? God I need you to satisfy me. It sometimes gets to the point where He has to pull me away from the thing I desire, calm me down, and offer it to me again.

I wonder how many times God has had to pull me back from my blessing because I was so close I didn’t see it as such. How many opportunities has He had to re-present it to me because I didn’t recognize it as the thing I had been praying for. I thought I was older spiritually but God is revealing to me that, at times, I don’t act much older than the children I am raising. While trying to raise children for a purpose, God is raising me to be a purpose parent.

Promise for Your Children

The promise God gave you for your child is significant. Your child(ren) was created for a specific purpose. John 15:16 tell us God chose your child(ren), He hand picked your child(ren) and according to Jeremiah 1:5 He knew who your child(ren) would be before He formed them. If God has not given you a specific word concerning your child(ren) hold on to this. They have been formed, called and chosen to be a part of the body of Christ, and as a member of the body your child(ren) will transform peoples lives. The promise is beautiful but it comes with our commitment as parents to submit our will to God’s by nurturing, developing and protecting the promise within our children.